Shilo Vignettes (continued):
And One from Otterkins.....
Errol Bredin always was pretty convincing in his practical jokes. When Donovan was a big deal and did the song "Mellow Yellow", rumour had it that if you dried out banana peels in the oven and then smoked them you would get high. This was a total crock of course. Someone's way of saying to the establishment "Let's see you make bananas illegal!" But we tried it because we didn't know any better and figured that this was gospel information. After several lung searing joints with nothing to show for our efforts, we gave it up as a lost cause, but Errol still had a LOT of dried banana peels. We were sitting in the PX coffee shop having Cokes and chips (they made the best chips there!) when in walks Andy Turner. He had already joined the army by this time and was doing basic in Shilo. Andy sits down with us and we start to yak. Suddenly Errol looks around cautiously to see if anyone is looking at us, leans over and says quietly to Andy "Wanna see what I picked up in Winnipeg?" Andy is of course curious, so Errol pulls this cigarette tin out of his pants (you could still buy cigarettes in tins then) and opens the lid being careful to keep it hidden underneath the table so no one but Andy can see.
Andy's eyes lit right up. "What is it?" he asked. In hushed tones Errol explained that it was premium grade Marrakech hashish. Andy had obviously never seen hash before. "Can I buy some from you?" he says to Errol. Errol says that he is just about out, but as a favour to Andy he will sell him some. The money and the "hash" are exchanged under the table and Andy rushes off. During this process I am killing myself trying to keep a straight face.
We staggered all the way over to the Teen Center we were laughing so hard. About an hour later in walks Andy and plunks himself down at the table. Errol is prepared to fork over the cash from his little joke because he figures Andy is pissed at him.
But no....Andy isn't. He leans over and says quietly to Errol "That is great shit man! Can I buy some more? The other guys want some too." Errol obliges him with a stern warning that there is no more except for his own personal stash, and no way was he going to sell that. The deal goes down and Andy is off again in a shot. I don't know if he ever figured it out or not, but we nearly peed ourselves over the whole issue.
And one more....
Norman Shallcross
Norm was like nobody I ever knew. He was going to school but had a part time job at the garage near the PX. Typical to mechanics the folds in the skin on his hands and his fingernails were perpetualy stained with grease. But Norm had a rather unusual talent. All of his fingers were double jointed and he could do the most amazing things with them. This was to get him in trouble.
It's a hot day in June and everyone is just sweltering. We endure yet another hated French class and the air is thick and still as we all scribble away in our notebooks. It is so quiet all you can hear is the scratching of pens. I guess it was too much for Norm who was always up for a bit of fun. He sticks his pinky in his ear and pops it out. Because of the double joints it makes a rather loud pop, but no one says anything. Norm tries a few more times and Mr. McKay glances up. Norm tries to appear very studious (quite a task for him) and Mr. McKay goes back to reading at his desk.
It isn't long before Norm is bored and starts up with his finger in his ear again. In a quiet room the pops are very loud indeed. Suddenly Mr.McKay jumps up.
"Alright Norman...that's quite enough! Out in the hall!"
Slowly Norm stands. He's a very tall and lanky boy (about 6'4"). A look of great anguish comes over his face. You had to know Norm. He was full of pranks and this was one of them. His lower lip starts to quiver and in a very emotional and shaky voice he says "Alright Mr.McKay. I didn't do anything. I was just trying to clean my ears a bit." As he slowly plods to the door Mr.McKay says "Norman I just can't have you disrupting the rest of the class with those silly noises."
Norm is playing it to the hilt with sad eyes and quivering lips like he is on the verge of tears. With one last glance he closes the door behind him. The effect is devastating. Mr.McKay begins to tremble and HIS lip starts quivering and his eyes are definitely moist.
"Just a moment class, I need to see the principle. Carry on with your studies." He immidiately rushed from the room and did not return for the remainder of the class. Norm kept on sticking his head in the door every few moments with the silliest grin on his face I have ever seen. No one could study after that.